Call me paranoid.

don't know. maybe I'm a sensitive person. i mean I'm an Aries. they say we are. maybe I've become extra sensitive. i don't know whats happened to me. i was always a very strong person. i didn't care about anyone or anything, i never broke down, i hid any emotions because i don't like pity. Then there was Wil. He broke my heart. and maybe it wasn't that i had such strong feelings about him. i admit. i did really like him, we got along really good and after he played me that way i thought id never find another connection like that. but it was more of an ego thing. he played me stupid in my face and in front of everyone else. i hated him for that. Then randomly came Jose. i didn't see it coming at all. i fell in love with him so quickly, i didn't expect it but by the time i realized it i was in too deep. I couldn't control what i felt and i somehow thought that we'd be together forever. He promised me so much and i was stupid enough to believe him. Maybe a part of me thought that because we were friends once he wouldn't treat me like nay other girl. He did though. He shattered my heart into tiny little pieces, particles. And the pain he left behind was unbearable i could not handle reality. i hit a 6 month period of depression. I found myself sleeping for days, without food, without friends, without going to school, and all of a sudden i was so jaded i wanted nothing to do with anyone. so i began to push everyone away. love ? that was out of the question. i did not plan on ever meeting anyone. months after the worst time of my life, i met Him. Jonathan. i tried so hard to push him away. i said mean things told him that i didn't want anyone but Jose, i told him i could never give him a chance, that even if i did i would never love him the way i loved Jose because no one could compare or will ever compare to him. i thought that all of this would hurt his feelings. i thought that this would push him away. i didn't want him. Instead he stood around. he said it was too late that he had already fell for me and would wait until i realized he was the one for me. i disliked him for it. But then i fell in love.He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. And now its been almost 9 months this Saturday and i have never been happier, no one has ever made me feel this way, not Wil, not Jose, no one. I Love Him. And i would do whatever it takes to always have him at my side. The thing is, I've never been needy. And i think I'm so afraid of losing him of replaying the same story, I've become a needy parson. i don't know what to do, i want him around all the time and i do get upset when he wont see me, i hate it because i know that it will push him away eventually. i don't want to smother him. I've been real sensitive about everything as well.